In the first two parts of this series, we have seen that it is important for a woman to feel secure in her relationship and to have true companionship.
The third thing women want from men is to know she is SIGNIFICANT
Put another way, a woman wants to know that she is valuable and important in the life of her man. She wants to know that she occupies first place in his life (apart from God). She wants to know that those things she considers important are also important to the man in her life.
Take for example anniversaries and birthdays. Should a man forget an anniversary, it communicates to her that he does not hold the occasion important AND in turn communicates to her that he does not hold her important.
Men, she needs to know that she is a significant part of your life. Simple things such as involving her in the decision making process (and truly listening to her) makes her know that she is valued. Letting her know what she brings to your life will go a long way in making her feel loved. Complimenting her on her new hairstyle shows her that you care about her.
A woman wants to feel significant as a woman
While men and women are equal, we are not the same. God has made the woman different from the man so that she may complement man. This is why the wife is called a ‘helper’ in the bible. Women bring wonderful qualities such as undying and unyielding love, empathy, care, softness, and incredible resilience (just to name a few) to the table.
A woman needs to know that these qualities are significant and appreciated by the man in her life.
Light-bulb moment: Men, if you do not appreciate the natural qualities of a woman, then you are saying that God made a mistake in the way He made her!
Unfortunately, the world has lied to many men and women that many of the qualities women possess make them weak. This is why many women do not feel comfortable in their own skin because they feel that they need to be ‘manly’ and exhibit ‘manly qualities’ to be significant and to be taken seriously.
Light-bulb moment: While a woman is a weaker vessel physically, there is nothing weak about who she is and the qualities that she possesses.
The key point is this: A woman wants to know that she is valuable because of who she is and NOT because of what she does. She does not want to have to prove her worth to her man by doing what he does.
A woman who does not feel significant will start to compete with the man in one form or the other. If she feels she cannot compete, she either become overly submissive or will become overly combative – always pointing out what is wrong in her man.
Light-bulb moment: If a woman is tearing you down all the time for no reason, it is likely because she feels valueless (her opinion does not count). It is likely because this is the only way she knows to even the playing field.
Men, please do not fall into the trap of trying to get a woman to become like you. After all, we need softness to complement our hardness. After all, every beast needs a beauty. When you show your woman that she is significant, you are validating her femininity and womanhood. This way, she knows that she is a pearl of great prize instead of a pearl that has been cast into a pit