Category Archives: Victorious Living

April 25, 2020 · 6:52 pm

Customize Your Life

Jesus is arguably the most successful man to have ever lived and is undoubtedly the most influential person to have ever graced this earth. This is one of the many reasons why I like to study his life.

As I was reading about his life, I came to a passage that said “And as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read.” – Luke 4:16

That started to get me thinking about my life. I started asking myself questions like, what customs do I have? And are those customs lifting me up or pulling me down?

Luke 4:16 not only suggests that Jesus had a customs around his spiritual life (going to the Synagogue on the Sabbath), he also have a custom around volunteering and taking the lead (standing up to read).

As I took an inventory, I realized that I was letting some good customs slip away and letting so silly customs creep in. Here are the customs that I decided that I will bolster: (1) Spending time in communion with God daily through bible reading and prayer (2) Practicing gratitude (3) Meditating

Now, I know some of you are going…did you just say practicing gratitude and meditating? Yes, I did.

Note: On gratitude, the bible tells us that God inhabits the praises of his people (Psalm 22:3). Moreover, we are told to concentrate on what is positive in our lives (Philippians 4:8).

Note: On meditation, God tells us to meditate on His word day and night so that we might prosper and have good success (Joshua 1:8).

Here is my question to you: What customs do you need to start today? And what customs do you need to eradicate?

If you have a custom of drinking a six pack each night or chain smoking all day, it may be time to reconsider those customs. The choice is your on how to customize your life. I hope choose a custom that leads to an awesome future.

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April 22, 2020 · 12:52 pm

Don’t Miss the Opportunity Of A Lifetime During This Crisis

You have two choices during this crisis. You can either fall apart or you can fall in place. What you choose will depend on your perspective.

Hopefully, this post will help shift your perspective in a way that allows things to fall into place.

If you are familiar with the gospels, then you know that Jesus (arguably the most successful man that ever lived) was filled with the power of the Holy Spirit when he was baptized in river Jordan (see Luke 3:21 & Luke 4:1)

The interesting thing I want you to consider is that the power he had within him was not unleashed UNTIL he went through a period of 40-days in a harsh desert environment called the wilderness (see Luke 4:14).

This tells me one thing: The wilderness is a place where you and I get to activate the superpower (God given ability) within us.

After Jesus emerged from the wilderness, we was off like a rocket – doing incredible, amazing things that had never been done before. This explains why the Holy Spirit actually led him into the wilderness in the first place!

Though you may not like the wilderness, the wilderness is necessary if you want to fulfill your potential

When I think of the wilderness, I think of a lonely place, disconnected from the world, where people live in an unforgiving environment.

We can parlay this to what is happening today. People are separated from their loved ones. People feel somewhat disconnected from each other. And what is going on seems cruel. Moreover, just like the real wilderness, a lot of people feel helpless during this crisis. In other words, this crisis period represents a wilderness experience.

This means there is an opportunity awaiting us not just to survive this experience BUT to thrive (just like Jesus did) after this experience.

But if we want to survive and thrive, then we must do what Jesus did.

The bible says that Jesus fasted during his wilderness experience. To ‘fast’ is simply to abstain. While the usual practice is to abstain from food (something that we need), in the broader sense, it can be to abstain from something we are used to having or something that we think we can’t do without.

When you are without something you are used to having or something you think you can’t do without, it does two things: (1) It changes your perception of what is important or needed (2) It changes your perception of your own capabilities.

This is the time to really consider what is important to you and to start thinking of ways to achieve it

When Jesus was in the wilderness, he grew his ability to persevere (he did not turn stone into bread), developed his ability to be resolute (he did not listen to crazy suggestions), and decided he was not going to take a shortcut to achieving his goals.

This is an opportunity for us to practice the same and develop the same ideals for our lives.

If we do this now, we will find out by the end of this crisis that we are must better placed to fulfill our highest potential.

Don’t concentrate on what you think you have lost; focus on what you have to gain

If you do this, you will find yourself ready to unleash your superpower when your wilderness experience is over. You will be ready to crush it!

I forgot to mention: Jesus spend 40-days in the wilderness before coming of the place. It looks as if we would have been looked down for ~ 40 days (March 23 – May 1) before we start to come out of it. Make sure you don’t waste the remaining days.

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April 19, 2020 · 7:00 am

Are You A Listener Or A Learner?

Jesus preached to huge crowds when he walked this earth (remember the feeding of the 5000 and 4000). The bible also tells us that his fame grew and that multitudes followed him. Yet, after about 3 years of hitting the road, speaking to people, and performing unbelievable miracles, we are only aware of him having 500 disciples (of which he chose 12 as his Apostles).

Thus, while there were many who heard the truth and knew the truth, there were only a handful of them that became his disciples. (The word disciple means learner or follower of Jesus).

Note: Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). Hence, I am using Jesus and truth interchangeably.

A listener knows the truth but a learner follows the truth

If you don’t choose the way, you can’t follow the truth. And if you don’t follow the truth, you won’t live the life

If you are a listener and not a learner, then know that you probably won’t live the best life. Here is how Jesus puts it: By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, so you will be my disciples. Another way of saying this is that only disciples bear fruit, and that a fruit-bearing (productive) life is what honors God.

It’s not what you know that counts, it is what you do with what you know that counts

This is why it does little good to memorize the whole bible and be able to quote it backwards without applying it. This is like having a weapon that you never use. If you do not use your weapon, don’t be surprised if enemies overrun your territory and steal the life you were meant to live.

It’s time to live your best life. It’s time to stop being someone that can tell other people about God. It is time to be that person that can tell people all of the awesome things God is doing in your life. Do it by resolving to be a learner today.

My challenge: Don’t just listen to hear…listen to learn.

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June 1, 2019 · 10:44 am

Don’t Live A Burger King Life

Burger King used the slogan ‘Have it Your Way’ to advertise its business for 40-years until 2014 when it scrapped it for a new slogan ‘Be Your Way’.

As you can see, the words ‘Your Way’ are common to both slogans. Regardless of which slogan resonates with you, the message from Burger King is clear: It Is All About You. While this message may be good for selling burgers, I caution you about using this tagline for the way you choose to lead your life.

When life becomes all about you, your world becomes smaller. As your world becomes smaller, it becomes more difficult to see beyond yourself. When you can’t see beyond yourself, you lose the ability to understand and empathize with other people. The moment you start to lose the ability to understand and empathize is the moment you start to drive a wedge between you and other people. When you drive a wedge between you and other people, you will start to live a separated and isolated life.

If you have to have it all your way in life, then you won’t have much of a life

Consider the words of King Solomon: A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgement (Proverbs 18:1). Another way of saying it is this: If you are only looking out for what you desire, you will end up isolating yourself. And if you isolate yourself, you are not wise.

If you isolate yourself, what will happen when you need help? Who will be there to lift you up when you are down? If you isolate yourself, you are more likely to open yourself to crazy thoughts and believe them. Who will warn you that your ideas are crazy? If you isolate yourself, who will promote you at work? Who will want to work with you? If you isolate yourself, you are more likely to feel lonely and depressed!

If life is all about you, you will end up by yourself in life

I once counselled a man who failed to realize his marriage was not about him. He told me he was perfectly content with how things were going in his marriage. He said he did not understand why his wife was so unhappy at the onset of their marriage.  He said he was shocked when his wife asked for a divorce after five years of marriage.

When I asked him why he did not seek help when they first started having issues, he told me he was happy and so saw no reason why he should have wasted money seeking help. He thought she would come around! He was wrong both about her and the money. She did not come around. And now he is spending more money in alimony and child support payments than he ever imagined! He did not think his attitude would cause him to lose his family!

If you are wise, you will learn from this man and learn from King Solomon. Make life about others and not solely about you. Here is how Jesus puts it: Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.

While it is okay to think of yourself, you shouldn’t forget to think of others

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May 30, 2019 · 7:49 am

Get A Grip On Your Emotions

Think of your emotions as people that life sends you. When these emotions get to you, they knock on the door of your house (heart and mind) and offer you feelings. If you open the door to the emotion that life sends you, it will try its best to convince your to take the feelings it holds in its hand.

Feelings are the gifts that emotions offer you.

If you have ever asked yourself ‘Why am I feeling this way?’, the reason is because you opened the door to the emotion that life sent you. If you do not want to feel a certain way, then you have two options: (A) Don’t open the door to the emotions life sends you (B) Get life to send you a different emotion.

Most people work on option A – not opening the door to the emotion life sends. When you hear people say ‘control your emotions’ or ‘manage your emotions’, they are telling you to work on option A.  While it is good advice, a problem with just following this advice is that the allure of emotions can be very strong and powerful. It is very difficult to distract yourself from the emotion  that is pounding on the door of your heart and mind.

Managing emotions takes a lot of time and concerted effort

It is even harder when the emotion life sends you is negative. Negative emotions blind side most of us because we do not know they are coming. All of a sudden, something unexpected happens and we suddenly find negative emotions knocking on our door. Caught unaware, we don’t have the energy or stamina to ward off the emotion. Hence, before we know it, we have invited the emotion into our mind and heart. If these negative emotion root themselves in our heart and minds, it derails our actions, our relationships, and the progress of our life. I prefer option B – getting life to send you a different emotion.

If you want to feel different, get life to send you a different emotion

Consider the scenario where you have been promoted to a new position that is completely foreign to you. You are either excited about the promotion and the opportunity to learn and do something new OR you are completely mortified that you will do a terrible job. The first emotion is joy which leads you to feel excited. The second emotion is fear which leads you to feel dread. So, which emotion is life going to send you? The answer is this: It depends on what you believe about the situation

Your belief system determines which emotion life sends you

If you want to alter your emotional state, you have to alter your belief system. Fear has been broken down into the sentence: False Evidence Appearing Real. If your belief system is controlled and rooted in fear, then that fear will trigger life to send you emotions associated with false evidence appearing real. Understand that the emotions are not the problem, the problem is that fear sends the wrong emotion because it is dealing with false evidence which appears true to you.

To get a grip on your emotion requires that you root fear out of your life

According to the bible, the opposite of fear is love. In fact, it says there is no fear in love, but that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Therefore, the only way to root out fear is to introduce love. When your belief system is centered around love, it introduces the right emotions into a situation at the right time to produce the right result.

To get a grip on your emotion, you have to center your belief system around love

This does not mean that you will never feel those emotions you’d rather avoid (anger, sadness etc.). What it does mean is that you will feel them at the right time, for the right things, to the right degree. They won’t root themselves in you, thereby controlling you and becoming your master. They will come to serve you so that you can get through any situation.

When love sends you emotions, those emotions will serve you well

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May 28, 2019 · 10:08 pm

Think Well And Live Well

Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week – George Bernard Shaw

There is a difference between thinking and having thoughts. Thinking comes from within, thoughts that enter our heads come from without (influenced by external environment, situations, circumstances). When thoughts come flooding into our mind space, we shouldn’t just take them at face value but rather we should think about them.

If you think about your thoughts, then you should make it a habit to ask yourself – Is this thought adding value to my life or is it taking away value? If the thought does not add value to your life or to other people’s lives, then you should reject it.

What would happen if you rejected every thought that adds no value to you or anybody else’s life? I bet you’d feel better about yourself. I bet you wouldn’t go through life being depressed. I bet you would have a different view about the people in your life.

Now, consider what would happen if you focus and meditate on every thought that adds value to your life and other people’s lives. I bet you’d be more likely to give your time, energy, and resources to a worthy cause. I bet you’d probably start that business you have been thinking about for the longest time. I bet you’d be filled with purpose and passion.

Those who think respond to situations, but those who give themselves over to thoughts react to situations.

Dr. Myles Munroe famously said there are 3 kinds of people: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened. If you are a thinker, you are a person that makes things happen. If you’re not a thinker, you will simply watch things happen to you and then probably wonder what happened. See, by positioning yourself as a thinker, you are positioning your life for victory. But if you simply entertain every single thought, you will position yourself as a victim.

This is why the bible tells us to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). Therefore, you shouldn’t just allow thoughts to roam freely around in your head dictating how you feel and what you do. In fact, the bible tells us to take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.

In other words, it says to capture the thought and ask yourself: Is this thought from God or does it come from a place of love? If the answer is no, then it is time to throw it away. If the answer is yes, then it is time to entertain it. Therefore, for you to master your thoughts, you have to know and believe what God says and then choose to debunk those things that have nothing to do with God’s thoughts and words.

Your thoughts are meant to be a slave to you. You are not meant to be a slave to your thoughts.

If you allow God to influence what you belief, your thought-life will be set apart. Since your thoughts influence your actions, you will find that your actions are God-inspired actions. If your actions, are God-inspired, you will experience victory in your life.

Don’t let thoughts run your life any longer! Take them captive and replace the ungodly thoughts with what God has to say. Lay down your ego and pride, and submit yourself completely to God’s words. Then watch it change your life!

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November 17, 2018 · 5:24 pm

Abrahams Blessings – How Much Do You Love Your Descendants?

In the previous post, we saw that Abraham’s initial disobedience delayed the blessings God had in store for him. We also saw that Abraham did not obey God fully. Though God told him to leave his relatives behind, he decided to take his cousin, Lot! You will see that this turned out to be a really bad move as you continue reading.

When Abraham finally decided to separate from Lot, being the kind of guy he was, he asked Lot to move to any portion of the land he desired. After scoping out the land, Lot decided to choose the fertile plains of the river Jordan. This meant that Abraham had to make due in the less fertile land of the wilderness (desert).

Soon after this occurred, God showed Abraham the implication of Lot’s decision to choose the fertile land. He showed Abraham that his descendants would spend 400 years in captivity in Egypt in a dream!

Our disobedience to God today can lead to grave consequences for our descendants tomorrow

See, it is not unusual for a famine to occur in desert lands. When a famine occurs, it is the people who live in the flood plains of a river that are protected.

Because Abraham took Lot with him, and Lot chose the plains of river Jordan, Lot’s descendants were shielded from the effect of the famine that hit the land. Conversely, Abraham’s descendants were forced to seek refuge in Egypt where there was plenty of food. Thus we see that Abraham’s decision to take Lot influenced their migration from Canaan to Egypt.

Our disobedience today can impact our descendant’s ability to stay in their land of promise

God, knowing all this was going to happen once Abraham made his decision to take Lot, allowed Joseph to be sent ahead of the famine so that the family would be welcomed in Egypt. So they stayed in Egypt (the land of Goshen) – in a good land where they grew in numbers and flourished!

But there was a problem. They were not in their promised land! Therefore, as they grew more prosperous, the Egyptians became more afraid. Instead of kicking them out of the land, the Egyptian Pharaoh decided to use their skill and strength to make his people wealthy. So he subjected them to serfdom!

Any flourishing we do in a place God has not called us to will end up being short-lived

When the time was right – when they had grown enough in numbers and the adversity of Egypt had toughened them up enough – and they called out to God for help, God sent them a deliverer (Moses).

Now they were ready to go back and take back the land promised to them. If they had gone back sooner, they would not have had the strength nor the numbers to fight for the land they left.

This is the domino effect of Abraham’s decision to take Lot:

  • Lot chose the fertile land, leaving Abraham to choose the wilderness
  • Abraham’s descendants had to leave Canaan for Egypt because they lived in the desert when famine struck
  • Others took over the land that was theirs when they had to leave
  • Abraham’s descendants loved the fertile land of Egypt and decided to stay (they would have had the fertile land in Canaan if Abraham had not taken Lot)
  • Abraham’s descendants had to grow and strengthen so they could go back to Canaan to fight for the promised land
  • The Egyptian Pharaoh became afraid of their numbers and made Abraham’s descendants life miserable
  • Abraham’s descendants ultimately went back to Canaan and got back the land that was theirs…including the fertile Plains of the Jordan.

In conclusion, if you really love your family, you will do what God asks you to do, even if your decision is not popular with your family members.

 

 

 

 

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July 31, 2018 · 7:54 pm

Relationship Lessons From People In The Bible – ADAM

It was love at first sight when I laid eyes on Eve. Indeed, God outdid Himself when He made her. She was like nothing I had ever seen before. I was so awe-struck by her appearance that the first words out of my mouth were ‘wow…man’. So, I dropped the center w and called her woman as a tribute, for indeed she succeeded in wooing me off my feet at first sight. I suppose you could say it was love at first sight. Those early days of our relationship were wonderful!

But the wonder went by the wayside the day we both decided to eat the fruit God told us not to eat. I will never forget that day. It was the day I abdicated responsibility for eating the fruit and instead threw Eve under the bus – blaming her for giving me the fruit. In that moment, I completely neglected the fact that I had my own free will and chose to eat the fruit.

Why did I eat that fruit you ask? I can’t point to just one reason but a myriad. First, the fruit looked really good and appetizing. Second, I knew she desired the fruit too. So, I thought why not! I convinced myself that not only was I going to please my wife, it would also help move us towards our goal of becoming one. I reasoned to myself that God wouldn’t mind us disobeying his word since it would help us fulfill his desire of oneness for Eve and me.

What is that popular saying people have today? Ahh yes…“Happy wife, Happy life”. It didn’t quite work that way for me. When I ate the fruit, Eve was happy in that instant, but it did not take us long to realize we had opened up Pandora’s box. Our happiness quickly disappeared and our lives became miserable.

The immediate period of adjusting to our new normal was especially rough. After experiencing marital heaven for so long, our new normal seemed like marital hell. We pointed fingers at each other and had lots of arguments. Instead of getting us closer to each other, eating the fruit ended up separating us.

I thank God that Eve and I were both committed to each other though. As time passed, we both realized that we had to let go of the past in order to move forward. Neither of us could go back in time and fix our mistakes. We just had to make the best of the situation at hand and learn from our past mistakes.

Still, it is clear that we would not be in our predicament if only we had listened to God in the first place. From that moment on, we stopped debating whether to believe God or not. We realized He is infinitely wiser than we would ever be and so submitted to His lordship.

Relationship Lessons

  1. Do not sacrifice permanent joy for temporary gratification
  2. God knows what is best for your relationship – trust the boundaries He sets for you
  3. You have to let go of the past in order to move forward
  4. Your commitment to your partner will determine whether your relationship survives
  5. Your commitment to God will determine whether your relationship thrives

Meditation

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding
– Proverbs 3:5
Note: The biblical story referenced can be found in Genesis 3:1-13  

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April 21, 2018 · 12:40 pm

Winning the Battle Over Depression – Part VII – Overcoming Anxiety Through Spiritual Balance

King Canute, also known as Cnut the Great, ruled the North Sea Empire (modern day England, Norway, and Denmark) in the 11th Century. Beloved by his courtiers, he was often lauded as the supreme lord and ruler of the land. One day, the king grew tired of the incessant praise and asked his courtiers to place his throne by the shore during low tide. Then as the tide rose throughout the day, he proceeded to command the tide to stop rising and not to wet his feet and robe. When the tide disobeyed his commands and wet him, he stepped back and said to his courtiers: ‘Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings, for there is none worthy of the name, but He whom heaven, earth, and sea obey by eternal laws.‘”

We can rule over somethings, but there are other things that we have no rule over.

We are spiritual beings endowed with power to rule. At the very beginning, we were empowered to rule all things except one another (Genesis 1:26 NKJV). Then we decided to give up our birth right and so lost power to rule just about all things but ourselves. Since that time early on in the history of mankind, man has been trying to get that power back – to control that which it lost power to control.

To complicate matters a little, though we lost power to rule, we did not lose power to steward (manage).

Finding spiritual balance is about knowing the difference between the things we have power to rule and the things we have power to steward.  In his address to his courtiers, King Canute points out that the things we have rule over pales in comparison to that which we are called to manage. In the rising tide example, we no longer have rule over the tide, but we sure can steward or manage what we do with it.

Spiritual imbalance is trying to rule over what we have been empowered to steward and trying to steward what we have been empowered to rule

We have been empowered to rule our mind and body. We own them and so they are subject to our kingship. Yet sometimes we allow our mind and body to take over. We become a slave to them. This is tantamount to giving up the power we have to rule! When we stop ruling our mind and body is when our lives go out of control!

Practical Application: When your mind starts to think about things that you do not care about, tell your mind to stop it, and then engage your body to take tangible action to change what your mind is thinking about. Engaging your body may mean subjecting one of your five senses to something different. Walk somewhere, listen to something new, look somewhere else, squeeze a stress ball, or go outside and smell the flowers. Do something to change the trajectory of your thinking before it takes over.

Trying to rule what we have been called to manage is playing God. Since we are not God, it leads to high stress and disappointment with very little chance of continued of success. This can lead to unnecessary anxiety and depression

Can we manage our relationships, our future, our health, our finances? Sure we can! Can we rule over these things? No we cannot, since to rule over something means that we can guarantee the outcome.  Therefore, we should not try to rule what you have been called to steward.

Now, the better stewards we become, the more likely we are to experience the outcome we desire. This gives us the impetus to become better stewards by acquiring knowledge, gaining understanding, and acting wisely. Thus, just because we cannot rule something does not mean we should give up on our stewardship.

Rule what you can and manage what you cannot rule

There are three rules I stick to when it comes to balance:

Rule 1: If the things I am anxious over are things I can manage, I don’t get depressed over them but start the journey to manage them better without marrying myself to an outcome (remember that you can’t guarantee an outcome as a steward).

Rule 2: If the things I am anxious over are things things that are in my sphere of rule, I stop allowing what I own to rule over me but learn to how to rule over them.

Rule 3: If the things I am anxious over are things I can neither rule nor manage, then I do not worry about them until they cross the threshold of rule or influence.

Do not fall into the trap that you have power over everything that happens. You know you do not. 

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April 20, 2018 · 10:42 pm

Winning the Battle Over Depression – Part VII – Overcoming Anxiety Through Gratitude

I have a challenge for you if you have the courage to stomach it: When convenient for you, I want you to take an alarm clock, go down to the morgue, find a dead body, set off the alarm clock, and watch to see if the dead body comes back to life!

While I secretly hope you decide not to take on my challenge, I hope you thought about why I would ever ask you to do such a thing in the first place! It is because I want you to know that it is not your alarm clock or your body that wakes you up in the morning. Thousands of people die in their sleep daily. That you and I woke up today is a gift from our Maker.

Life is a gift you must open

I suspect that when you receive a gift, you usually thank the person that gave you the gift. So I ask you this: When was the last time you opened your eyes and truly thanked the Maker for giving you another day. Unlike the thousands of people who never wake up, you have another opportunity to take the gift of life and see what it has to offer.

The gift of life is like a fertile piece of land

Life is like a piece of fertile land…whatever you plant in it grows. Life takes your seeds of thoughts, desires, attitude, and actions, and gives it right back to you multiplied many times over but in a different form. Therefore, to understand what you are getting from life requires that you uncover the seeds that you are planting.

If you are like me, you plant both good and bad seeds and so reap both good and bad fruit. While it is crucial to understand the nature of the bad seeds you have sown (perhaps through counselling, therapy, and self-reflection), do not underestimate the value in deliberately choosing to sow good seeds.

Your real challenge is to plant so much good seed that it overshadows and dwarfs the bad seed

One of the best seeds to plant is gratitude. When you plant it, you reap the fruit of peace of mind and favor with men. Peace because gratitude short-circuits worry by changing your minds focus from what is wrong to what is right. Favor because gratitude communicates humility. Since humility is honored in the right circles, it has the potential to lift you out of the very muck that may be causing your anxiety in the first place. Thus, gratitude has the ability to control your anxiety and to lift away anxiety by helping to change your circumstance.

So how do you grow in gratitude? An effective way is purposefully keep in mind that there are people in the world who would gladly take on our troubles any day. If you have doubts about this, just go to http://www.globalissues.org and read the poverty stats.

There is a lot for you to be thankful for today, so give thanks.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend

 – Melody Beattie

 

 

 

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