I couldn’t believe it! I wondered what could have happened to my bold and courageous husband.
Just a few months before, Abram stood in front of me declaring that we had to leave our family and friends because God wanted us to go! When I asked ‘Go where’, he said he didn’t know. All he knew was that we had to do it. Though I had my doubts about whether he had really heard from God or had just experienced a rush of blood to the head, I told him I’d go. Why did I do it? I agreed because I loved him, respected him, and wanted to honor his leadership of our family.
Now I wondered if I had made the right decision. The man standing in front of me was no longer bold and assured but looked like a wet puppy dog. He was so afraid for his life that he asked me to lie that I was his sister. Nope…not his fiancé, not even his girlfriend, but his sister!
Though I remained calm on the outside, I was boiling inside! What happened to till death do us part? What happened to commitment? What happened to have faith in God? Fear had replaced faith; cowardice had replaced courage; selfishness had replaced selflessness.
I nearly lost my respect for him that day. And I would have but for then an inner voice spoke to me saying, just because he is making a mistake now does not mean the decision he made was a mistake. At that moment, I realized that the man making this decision was an ugly caricature of the man I knew and loved.
So, I made a conscious decision to respect him despite having zero respect for the decision he made. I chose not to evaluate our relationship solely on what he did wrong.
Over the years, the question I get asked the most is why I agreed to his request to say I was his sister. Here are the reasons: First, I thought that he would come to his senses sooner rather than later and declare to everyone that I was his wife. Second, I knew that God told him he would be a father. Therefore, I knew God had plans for us that were bigger that this temporary setback. I knew that God would not allow anyone else to take me away from him!
It was the second reason that really gave me courage. Though Abram had failed me, I knew God never goes back on his world. Indeed, if Abram was faithless, God would remain faithful!
Looking back, I am so grateful God is so reliable. Adam did not come to his senses but asked me to lie about being his sister a second time! If not for God’s protection, our marriage would have been over!
But let me be fair! Abram is not the only one that made mistakes in our marriage. After many years of waiting for the child that God promised, I became fearful that it would not happen. So, I started to second guess what I knew. I said to myself, ‘when God said Abram would have a child, perhaps God did not mean Abram would have a child with me’. Maybe He meant Abram would have a child with someone else. I so convinced myself of this lie out of fear that I decided to help God out. I asked Abram to sleep with my maidservant. How silly is that!!! Just as Abram’s decision almost cost us our marriage, my decision almost cost us our marriage. But long story short, God redeemed this situation as well and we ended up experiencing God’s promise come to pass in our lives
Relationship Lessons
- For your relationship to last, you have to look past what is wrong with you partner and instead focus on what is right
- It is not a matter of if you will have to forgive each other, it is a matter of when you will have to forgive each other
- Disappointment in relationships is inevitable, but discouragement is a choice
- Fear makes bad relationship decisions
- Focus on God’s promises when going through a rough patch
- Just because something is true today doesn’t mean it will be true tomorrow
Meditation
If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself – 2 Timothy 2:13
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