Think of your emotions as people that life sends you. When these emotions get to you, they knock on the door of your house (heart and mind) and offer you feelings. If you open the door to the emotion that life sends you, it will try its best to convince your to take the feelings it holds in its hand.
Feelings are the gifts that emotions offer you.
If you have ever asked yourself ‘Why am I feeling this way?’, the reason is because you opened the door to the emotion that life sent you. If you do not want to feel a certain way, then you have two options: (A) Don’t open the door to the emotions life sends you (B) Get life to send you a different emotion.
Most people work on option A – not opening the door to the emotion life sends. When you hear people say ‘control your emotions’ or ‘manage your emotions’, they are telling you to work on option A. While it is good advice, a problem with just following this advice is that the allure of emotions can be very strong and powerful. It is very difficult to distract yourself from the emotion that is pounding on the door of your heart and mind.
Managing emotions takes a lot of time and concerted effort
It is even harder when the emotion life sends you is negative. Negative emotions blind side most of us because we do not know they are coming. All of a sudden, something unexpected happens and we suddenly find negative emotions knocking on our door. Caught unaware, we don’t have the energy or stamina to ward off the emotion. Hence, before we know it, we have invited the emotion into our mind and heart. If these negative emotion root themselves in our heart and minds, it derails our actions, our relationships, and the progress of our life. I prefer option B – getting life to send you a different emotion.
If you want to feel different, get life to send you a different emotion
Consider the scenario where you have been promoted to a new position that is completely foreign to you. You are either excited about the promotion and the opportunity to learn and do something new OR you are completely mortified that you will do a terrible job. The first emotion is joy which leads you to feel excited. The second emotion is fear which leads you to feel dread. So, which emotion is life going to send you? The answer is this: It depends on what you believe about the situation
Your belief system determines which emotion life sends you
If you want to alter your emotional state, you have to alter your belief system. Fear has been broken down into the sentence: False Evidence Appearing Real. If your belief system is controlled and rooted in fear, then that fear will trigger life to send you emotions associated with false evidence appearing real. Understand that the emotions are not the problem, the problem is that fear sends the wrong emotion because it is dealing with false evidence which appears true to you.
To get a grip on your emotion requires that you root fear out of your life
According to the bible, the opposite of fear is love. In fact, it says there is no fear in love, but that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Therefore, the only way to root out fear is to introduce love. When your belief system is centered around love, it introduces the right emotions into a situation at the right time to produce the right result.
To get a grip on your emotion, you have to center your belief system around love
This does not mean that you will never feel those emotions you’d rather avoid (anger, sadness etc.). What it does mean is that you will feel them at the right time, for the right things, to the right degree. They won’t root themselves in you, thereby controlling you and becoming your master. They will come to serve you so that you can get through any situation.
When love sends you emotions, those emotions will serve you well