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What Women Want from Men (Part IV)

The fourth thing women want from men is to be TREASURED as a pearl.

If you are wondering why a woman is a pearl, consider this: A fisher who desires a pearl must first dive the depths of the ocean in search for oysters. In other words, He must put in EFFORT and BRAVE an environment to which he is not accustomed.

When the diver sees the oyster, he is not taking aback by the shabby look of the oyster but he is filled with ANTICIPATION about the PRECIOUS gem that lies within it. In other words, the diver must not be dismayed by the hard protective shell he sees.  He must understand that the protective shell is there to keep the oyster safe from predators.

When he finally opens up the oyster, he discovers his prize. He discovers the object of his affection. Even then, he must polish the pearl to ensure that the fullness of its radiant beauty is revealed.

What does this have to do with a woman? Everything! Men, a woman wants a man to put in the effort to get to know her. She wants him to be brave and intentionally pursue her as a diver would a pearl. And when he finds her, she does not want him to stop at what he sees but she wants him to discover who she truly is (internally and externally).  In other words, she wants him to navigate her walls (shell) to unsheathe her beauty. Moreover, when he finds who she truly is, she does not want him to be disappointed that she may still need some polishing. She wants him to be PATIENT with her in this process.

A woman wants to know she is a pearl of great prize

Now, a woman does not simply want to be regarded as a pearl but desires to be a pearl of great prize.  In other words, every woman want to know that she is different from all the other women (pearls) in the world in the eyes of her man. She wants to know that there is something uniquely special about her that draws her to him.

Light-bulb moment:  A woman needs to know that she is highly prized by the man to whom she has decided to give herself. She needs to know that she has given herself to a person who will cherish her – not just at the beginning of the relationship BUT continually.

The way a man lets a woman know she is a pearl of great prize is by continually showing her AFFECTION. She wants to be surprised from time to time; she wants you to write those little notes of affirmation to her. Going out of your way to do those things you do not care too much about shows her that she made a good decision when she chose you.

A woman wants to treated as a pearl of great prize

If you go to a jewelry store, you will find that the jewel of great prize probably has its own special box with a spotlight shone on it. Depending on the store and location, there may even be guard ropes that restrict access to the jewel. Moreover, there may be a special viewing area for the most prized jewels.   

What this is saying to men is this: Do not ‘rough-handle’ your woman but treat her with a spirit of care and gentleness.

Light-bulb moment: Love waits! If you love her, you will wait for her AND you will not pressure her into making a decision she is not willing to make! You will treat her with a spirit of understanding.

Just like the jewels, shine a light on your woman! Do this by complimenting her often – in public and private – whenever your heart moves you. Do this by taking note and keeping track of those things that you admire about her daily. Be her strength and shield her away from danger!

Oh but how too few men treasure their women today! Men, if you cannot treasure you woman out of a sincere heart of love, then it may very well be that you do not regard her as a pearl of great prize. If this is where you are; if you do not consider her shiny enough to put on display, I want to encourage you NOT to go looking for another oyster! No, every single pearl needs polishing!

Polish her with the balm of love and affection using the glove of God. When you do this, you will find that her beauty comes forth. You will find yourself treating her as a pearl of great prize!

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it” – Matthew 1345-46

Food for Thought: Just a we are pearls of great prizes to Jesus, so should a woman be to her man.

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What Women Want from Men (Part II)

The second thing women want is COMPANIONSHIP

Note: Read Part I of this series to discover the first thing women want

Women want conversational companionship

Many women feel lonely despite being in relationships. This loneliness is often expressed as one of the biggest complaints women have when it comes to the men in their lives. They say, ‘He will not speak to me’! Most of the time, this comes as a shocker to many men who feel they are speaking to their women all the time.

What these men do not understand is this: ‘He will not speak to me’ complaint from a woman goes beyond shallow conversation. Women want to have deep, intimate, heart-felt conversations with their partners!

They want to know their partners hopes and dreams and want to share their own hopes and dreams with their partners. They want a man who can bare his soul – a man who can show passion and vulnerability. In a sense, women want a man they can CONNECT with on a deep level.

To women, lack of vulnerability and lack of passion in conversation shows lack of connection and may even evoke feelings that the man does not trust her or care about her. So she feels neglected. She feels that she is going along with the ride but not truly connected to the ride.

Men, women do not want a ‘roommate’ or a ‘housemate’. Women truly want a connection of heart and soul – they want a soul mate. They truly want two to become one.

Men, if a woman lacks this connection, she may try to get involved in your day and your dealings. If she is doing this, it is not because she does not trust you to lead. It is because she simply wants to be involved in your world

Light-bulb moment: Conversational companionship goes a long in ensuring ‘two truly become one’.

Women want physical companionship

I can just see many men jumping for joy just at the mention of physical companionship. While sex is part of what this means ONLY IF married, physical companionship goes much beyond sex.

Physical companionship is all about physical intimacy. In turn, intimacy goes beyond action but touches the emotions and heart behind what is being done.

A little brush of the hand, a knowing smile, a longing stare into each others eyes, or a heart-felt hug all count as physical companionship. In reality, physical companionship is about the man being PRESENT IN THE MOMENT and being SENSITIVE to the emotional needs of a woman in a physical way. For example, physical companionship can even be cutting short a conversation that you sense that your wife does not feel comfortable having with another person. By doing this, she feels protected and loved by you through your action. 

In truth, it is easier to have this physical chemistry when conversational chemistry has been developed. This physical chemistry is the way people speak without speaking!   

Tip for Men

The best way to develop true companionship with your woman is to read the bible with her and to pray with her. The word of God, which naturally deals with the heart, will open up heart issues that both you and your partner can pray about (after allowing the word of God to have the final say on it). The key for this to work is to focus on your own lives. Do not make a mockery of this process by always talking about how the word of God applies to other people.

Light-bulb moment: Vertical companionship with God will always lead to horizontal companionship with your partner.   

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